I Used to Pray to Gain Weight and Now I’m Praying to Lose It

For most of my life, weight was never something I worried about losing. Actually, it was the complete opposite.

I used to be really skinny. I was the woman who wanted to gain weight. I could eat what I wanted and never think twice about it. I remember wishing I could put on a few pounds. Well, be careful what you pray for!

Now at 56, I find myself praying for those pounds to go in the other direction.

Shifting mind, shifting body

Getting older, and especially going through menopause, has completely changed my relationship with my body. One of the biggest changes I’ve noticed is how much harder it is for me to lose weight. Things that used to work quickly don’t work the same anymore.

I joke that back in the day, I could look at a workout machine and lose weight. Now I can look at food and gain weight. It’s funny, but some days it really feels that way.

Exercise looks different for me now

I would love to say I have this perfect workout routine and I’m in the gym five days a week. I’m not.

One of my biggest struggles right now is energy. I don’t always have a lot of it, so being consistent with exercise has been difficult.

I do try to get outside and walk for about 30 minutes, maybe once a week. I also work on a casino floor, so I’m on my feet and walking quite a bit while I’m working. I definitely get steps in, but I know that’s different from having a consistent exercise routine.

That’s one area where I know I can improve.

And I’m not beating myself up about it. I’m looking at where I am now and figuring out what I can realistically change.

My eating habits haven’t magically changed either

I haven’t completely changed the way I eat just because I’m older. I still like to snack. I also don’t get nearly as much sleep as I should, and because I’m awake late, I tend to eat late. I know that’s an area I need to work on.

The biggest lesson for me has been realizing that losing weight at this age takes more effort and consistency than it used to. And losing the weight is only part of it. Keeping it off is another challenge.

But I have lost 22 pounds. I’m proud of that. It reminds me that my body may respond differently now, but that doesn’t mean I can’t make progress.

What I wish I had done at 40

If I could talk to my 40-year-old self, I would tell her to start building the habits now.

Exercise consistently. Take better care of yourself. Pay attention to what you’re putting into your body. Make vitamins and other healthy routines part of your regular life. Take care of your skin. Get your facials. Do the little things that make you feel good.

Most importantly, I wish I had made exercise such a normal part of my life that I didn’t have to convince myself to do it now.

At 56, I’m learning that taking care of myself isn’t about trying to look 30 again. I’m not interested in turning back the clock.

I want to feel good in the body I have now

I’m still working on consistency. I’m still trying to improve my eating habits. I’m still trying to get more sleep. And yes, I’m still trying to get these pounds off.

But 22 pounds later, I’m moving in the right direction. And if the woman who once prayed to gain weight can now lose 22 pounds during menopause, I’ll take that as progress.

Even if I still look at a piece of cake and swear I gained two pounds. 😂